Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
