so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
