you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
