Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
