your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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