was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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