then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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