yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize