Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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