Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
