Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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