apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
