I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
