Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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