he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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