My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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