i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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