I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
