Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
