so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
