I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
