I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
