Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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