There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
