There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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