kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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