I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
