Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
