The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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