He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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