Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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