i wish my penis had a tongue
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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