I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
