There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
