Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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