And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize