I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
