i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
