her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
