First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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