It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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