The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
