Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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