I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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