all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
