I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
