Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Randomize
