Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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