just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
