Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
