she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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