I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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