O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
