She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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