just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
