If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Two words: blizzard sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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