Can i not drive my cunt home
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
