It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
