I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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