There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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