somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sext me about skeletons
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
