U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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