Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize