I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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