This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Pants are for mortals
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
