my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
