Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
