walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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