dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
