I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
