I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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