how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
