oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
