it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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