watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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